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“I discovered your program after reading an article about actress Melissa Gilbert’s struggle with misophonia.

I am 74 years old (unfortunately too old for research projects), but I wanted to share my story having lived with misophonia since I was 10 years old … for 64 years! For 57 years I thought I was alone and there was something wrong with me. But in 2018, I was watching an episode of Criminal Minds (Season 13, episode 9 titled Mixed Emotions) and heard the term misophonia for the first time. I was spellbound. I did as much research online, but at that time I did not find much, only first person narratives and opinions.

The best thing for me was my monster had a name! Now I could talk about it with my long suffering partner and a few close friends and family. My primary care doctor had never heard of it. She referred me to a mental health counselor who also had never heard of it. I ended up educating them or at least making them aware of the term.

Over the years I have used ear plugs, fans and a small sound machine by my bed. When I feel the irritation/anger start to build, I just leave the room. Misophonia has destroyed 3 marriages. It created a defensive wall between my father and one sister, starting when I was 10 years old because I could not stand the sound of their breathing, snoring and chewing. I loved them both dearly, as well as my husbands, but my unexplained aloofness, irritability and occasional outbursts could not be disguised or explained. I have read that these sensitivities occur more often with people you are closest to – an anticipatory reaction. I even have reactions to physical cues related to breathing like seeing or feeling the rise of fall of their chest or movement of the bed covers. It is funny that the sound of my cat breathing or snoring is actually comforting!

When I was eligible for Medicare, I took advantage of a free hearing screening. I noticed so many of my friends were becoming hearing impaired, and some were using hearing aids. Well, the audiologist concluded I did NOT need any assistance; in fact, my hearing was off the chart - literally! This occurred before I knew the term misophonia. It makes sense that my hearing acuity would heighten my sensitivity.

As I reflect on my life, I consider myself very fortunate in spite of the inner turmoil caused by misophonia. I have had a relatively normal life, a loving and stable family, wonderful career opportunities and the freedom to do anything I wanted. Misophonia never interfered with my education, work life or relationships beyond my immediate family, partners and closest friends.

To compensate for the bad person I thought I was, I have tried to be kind, cheerful, patient and supportive of others, as well as a good listener. I love to laugh, play music and dance. People often comment on how much fun I have. I think I have done pretty well in spite of misophonia. When the irritation and rage creep in, I know when to hide it or walk away.

I do wonder how different my life might have been if my parents or I had known about misophonia 60+ years ago. (wiping the tears from my eyes)”

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We thank Coleen for sharing her misophonia story! Do you want to share your #MisophoniaStory? Share your story with us here.

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